
Happy Memorial Day weekend. (And for those of us in Indy, Happy Race Day!) I've got a very long six sentences this week. Just some description from my historical western, Nobody's Bride. This comes when the heroine, Maddy, realizes her time on the Chisholm Trail with the hero, William, is coming to an end, never to be repeated:
She loved the open air and the smells of clean wind, sunbaked grasses, and stirring cattle. She loved watching the wildflowers change with the season and seeing the bees bumble from one to the other, gathering nectar. She loved the dip and sway of the wagon, the broad backs of the oxen pulling in tandem, and the dusty score across the prairie that marked where ten thousand cattle had trod already this summer, and twenty thousand more would tread before winter came. She even loved the thick choking dust, the mud of the river crossings, and the sound of crickets and grasshoppers sawing away at their instruments late into the night.
But most of all, she loved to look over and see William riding point, sitting so naturally in the saddle that he looked like a part of Arion, and they weren't horse and rider any more, but some mythical beast that combined the two, like something out of a storybook. She loved his holler and the sweep of his arm that set them moving in the morning, and its reverse that brought them to a halt at night.
As always, you can find more great snippets here.
15 comments:
This is such great description -- I loved the crickets and grasshoppers sawing away at their instruments. I'm with Maddy -- I don't want this to end either!
Wonderful scenic description. It put me right there.
Brilliant description. Really put me right there with her. Excellent six.
Very vivid description. Nicely done!
Perfect to description to draw the reader right into the story. Great six!
Thank you for pulling us into Maddy's incredible world and seeing what she saw and loved. Beautifully written!
Wow, that was an awesome description! I really felt like I was there, not only seeing it, but feeling her excitement and wonder and her feelings about it and William. Well done!
This is great, Linda! I grew up along side the Chisholm Trail and I've worked large herds of cattle, including having to sleep out at night on herd duty. You're bang on with the descriptions!
Very vivid description. I loved it! I'm very curious to see what direction this story takes.
Well done, Linda. You put me right along side, Maddy.
You can see the sweeping vistas in this. Great work!
This is so incredibly beautiful! Not just the description, but the poignancy therein. Just wonderful!
Beautiful imagery in this six. Well written :)
Thanks for your lovely comments, everyone. Nothing more invaluable to a struggling writer than a little encouragement. Silver, I'm especially encouraged by your comment since you know the Trail so well. I've done a lot of research but haven't visited the area, so I'm glad it doesn't read like I'm talking out of my rear end!
Only a woman in love would see the world the way Maddy does. Very poignant and engaging description. Well done!
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